The first day

The "Thallithenga" tree, only remnant of
our old school

The first day, I mean the first day at St.Mary's LPS, which is quite vivid in my memories. I still remember the cries and whispers, but it never busted out as a lament for me. My father was out, just near the window, telling me softly not to cry. Those who cried much were Biju and Giju the twins who came from Muttada. I could still recall their father, a tall man with black thick framed glasses. Biju and Giju showed much compassion for others, they were often inquisitive of how others lived! So they asked most of us very foolish questions.
I think the first person to whom I talked was Roy(from Kariyam) whose father was my father's friend. Through Roy I was introduced to Sarath who was also Roy's neighbour. [Roy's brother Joy was also studying at the school at that time. He would often come at intervals and check whether Roy is in the class. He would just come at the door stretch his neck and then look around and vigourously shake his head. Once Giju and Biju asked why he came every time the bell rang. I told it to Roy, and if my memory is right, Roy quarrelled with the twins over the issue.]
In the very first day I got another friend too, and that was Gopu, who was with me in the same class till I passed out of the High School in 1983. I don't exactly remember whether Gopu cried that day but Ramalingom and Ramakumar did cry. I did not cry; that was the promise I gave my father. I asked Giju (or Biju) why he was crying; he told weeping and tears rolling down his cheeks that his father went away.
My father did not go, even though he told me that he would go to office and come at noon to get me back home; perhaps he could not go. But the smell of the new plastic water bottles(I too had a green one tied around my neck), pencil boxes and new clothes instilled a sense of loneliness. There were many children in the class, but we all felt lonely. I feared that I would cry, I was at the verge of a break down for no valid reason. I felt like crying, because others cried.
Thirty years later the history repeated as if it is a cycle. I took my daughter to school, the first day to the first standard. The smell of the new plastic tiffin boxes, pencil boxes and new clothes pierced through my nostrils, and they were giving the same feeling of loneliness, what I experienced on my first day at school. I noticed that my daughter is also disturbed like any other child; so I told her all the way that I did not cry, when I went to school and more that it is not fair. To my surprise she told me that she will not cry. She kept her word and did not cry. But when I stepped away from my daughter's class waving a tata, I could not control myself, I broke down..I came crying down the stairs. I wanted to ask my father whether he too cried that day.
I still believe, that's why he did not go to office leaving me alone, otherwise he should have cried...